Our Love Story: Journey to Undiscovered Country
How We Met and Began Developing a Healthy Relationship and Marriage
It was fall semester (1989) of my freshman year (Darren’s junior year) when I first laid eyes on my beloved Darren. The campus was small, which made it convenient to see him most days. I admired him from a distance—as I watched him walking across the courtyard—telling two of my girlfriends “someday, he will be my husband.” Little did I know that this proclamation would herald the beginning of 19 years (and counting) journey to undiscovered country--that is becoming a life long student of raw, pure, true Love-- where Love Himself (God) became my (our) master teacher and guide.
A Means to an End . . .
In my mind’s eye, marriage was a means to an end. I thought that it would satisfy the empty spaces in the depths of my soul—to be loved unconditionally, accepted, and to have identity and significance. I believed that my life would actually begin when I became Mrs. _____________. I was looking for my happily ever after—you know, like in the movies and romantic novels. My perception about love and marriage were built upon ungodly frames of references inherited during childhood from family and culture.
My Dream Come True?
When I finally met Darren (I asked his fraternity brother to introduce us), I thought I was on the way to fulfilling my dream to be married. After a year or so of pursuing him we dated. Like the pursuit, our relationship conveyed/displayed/revealed a vivid story of how far my (our) heart was from God’s plan for me (us). I was manipulative, fearful and emotionally all over the place. I was needy, and Darren was a means to an end—you know—the happily ever after.
“Many Rivers Can Not Quench Love . . . “
April 1994, I received a phone call from Darren after being unable to reach him for a week. He told me that he believed God was calling him to be a Roman Catholic Priest. OMG! My heart shattered. I was devastated, and went into a depression. I planned to marry this man (Darren was not aware of this plan) but that could not possibly happen now. To make matters worse, he decided not to have contact with me because I was not very accepting of his decision.
In my mind’s eye, marriage was a means to an end. I thought that it would satisfy the empty spaces in the depths of my soul—to be loved unconditionally, accepted, and to have identity and significance. I believed that my life would actually begin when I became Mrs. _____________. I was looking for my happily ever after—you know, like in the movies and romantic novels. My perception about love and marriage were built upon ungodly frames of references inherited during childhood from family and culture.
My Dream Come True?
When I finally met Darren (I asked his fraternity brother to introduce us), I thought I was on the way to fulfilling my dream to be married. After a year or so of pursuing him we dated. Like the pursuit, our relationship conveyed/displayed/revealed a vivid story of how far my (our) heart was from God’s plan for me (us). I was manipulative, fearful and emotionally all over the place. I was needy, and Darren was a means to an end—you know—the happily ever after.
“Many Rivers Can Not Quench Love . . . “
April 1994, I received a phone call from Darren after being unable to reach him for a week. He told me that he believed God was calling him to be a Roman Catholic Priest. OMG! My heart shattered. I was devastated, and went into a depression. I planned to marry this man (Darren was not aware of this plan) but that could not possibly happen now. To make matters worse, he decided not to have contact with me because I was not very accepting of his decision.
“God knows the plans He has for our lives.” While I did not know it at the time, the soul wrenching pain of heartbreak became the road to a new beginning in my (our) journey where God was working in both our hearts to uproot the all that was not of Him while shaping and molding us to be lovers of Him first, thus giving us the grace to truly love one another.
God’s love knows no distance nor is it bound by time or space. After almost twenty years, Love transformed us inside out before making us one-flesh November 8, 2008.
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